Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(347): View more from New York

sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.

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(254): View more from Texas

Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??

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(509): View more from Washington

We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler

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(214): View more from Texas

So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?

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(801): View more from Utah

Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??

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(309): View more from Illinois

When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.

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(916): View more from California

She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...

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