just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
