I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
