You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize