I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
