Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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