I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
