I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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