I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
