There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
