Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The beer is more important than you right now.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
