so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
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