Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
