Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Just puked most of my soul out..
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
