what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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