just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize