Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
