he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
