I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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