Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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