There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
