I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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