i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
