I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You were trust falling into bushes
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
