I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
