I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
the condom got lost in my hair
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
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