I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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