who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
