The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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