you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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