I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
