I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
