i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Randomize
