i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
