This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
