Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
