I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize