Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
