your parents love me but you hate me
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
