Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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