belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
