woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
