that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
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