dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
organizing the empties. That sober.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
