Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
