Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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