just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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