why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
