is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
