break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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