I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
