Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
