It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize