I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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