It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
