He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
