I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
