Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
