Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
