Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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