I want to make a zoo with you.
I bet he comes in French.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
