I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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