So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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