just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
