I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
and you fell through a lawn chair
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
