its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
