I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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