She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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