My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
