a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
