I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
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