At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
