She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
