So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
